Looking for Best Selves

“I see you”

The Na’vi greeting from The Avatar

Since writing about societal obliviousness 3 weeks ago, I’ve increased my effort to give my best to others and notice and acknowledge the best in everyone I meet. I’m finding, for the most part, that I’m getting “best selves” in return. I’ve had some wonderful and surprising encounters and most surprising of all is how many times I’m the benefactor of the kindness of others! Walking downtown, a stranger walking the opposite direction looked me in the eye, smiled, and wished me good morning … that simple interaction boosted my spirits and made me smile. His simple action told me he was happy and willing to share that joy with me. I felt happy when I recently saw a co-worker from another city and he greeted me with a big grin and a warm hug. But, the most surprising and delightful interaction happened this past weekend while I was traveling on business in Boise, ID. I’d arrived in the evening after a rough flight, feeling awful, and with a terrible headache. I went to a small restaurant for a bowl of hot soup before settling in for the night. As I held the door for a couple leaving the restaurant, they told me the restaurant was unable to serve any more food because so many guests were staying to listen to the live music and occupying all of the tables.

This was their first visit to this restaurant and they were clearly disappointed not to be able to eat there as they’d driven some distance for the experience. Instead of being indignant they were calm, smiling, friendly and open. Trying to be helpful, I recommended another nearby restaurant, gave them directions, and suggested they follow me there if it sounded like a good choice to them. They happily agreed and asked if I would like to join them for dinner. I was surprised, but comfortable with them, and curious about why we all came together in the doorway of this tiny restaurant and so I agreed to join them. Our conversation throughout dinner was quick paced, interesting, filled with fun and energy. They are a charming and delight-filled couple who have lived in many cities and have wonderful life experiences which they graciously shared with me (and they both have the most beautiful, sparkling eyes I can ever remember seeing). When we left the restaurant, I felt happy and my headache was relieved. Meeting them reminded me that being open and expecting to meet the best in people improves our lives and I believe I’m a better person because I met Ardi and Les. I will think of them with delight and gratitude always.

Maybe these happy interactions are isolated events, but they seem to be happening with more frequency; or maybe I’m just noticing them more. Maybe this is pay it forward in action. If it is, I feel like I’m the greatest beneficiary of positive action.

SUSAN: Am I having these joyful experiences because I’ve given joy to others? Are they learning opportunities to remind me to interact joyfully with others and give me new ideas about how I can be my best self? Whatever their purpose, they give me renewed faith in the goodness of mankind and I am grateful for them and renew my commitment to look for ways to benefit others, and to be willing to accept the kindness others offer.

DOROTHY: In my quest to “right” my life, to practice putting the 51% Theory to work in making changes I see as necessary, I am learning to accept the idea that I am just human and so, do human things. I make mistakes, I make bad decisions, I judge, I hold anger, I gossip, I __________(fill in the blank). And so there are days – even weeks - in my mostly joyful way of being in the world that still present great challenges. How can I stay in that positive place when confronted with this humanness? I’ve found that resisting the negative feelings or circumstances that arise only intensifies, and often prolongs, the discomfort. But, when I allow myself to feel the anger (frustration, disappointment…..), when I say out loud, “I’m Pissed right now” and acknowledge the presence of these “disturbances “ as part of my humanness and not some glaring, permanent flaw in my character, the thought or situation is less likely to spin me into my ugly twin. Instead of beating myself up for letting down my positive guard, I can now more easily choose to put “it” down and move on. For me, writing is the safety net. I write what I’m feeling, try to determine why, and then put it in a BIG PICTURE perspective, “will it matter 10 years from now, 3 weeks from now, 2 days from now?” Usually, no, and usually that’s all it takes to help me choose not to be a victim of my humanness but to just be in it for the moment and then let it go! It’s working for me. WOW, maybe you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!!!

Enjoy the upcoming week!

Susan and Dorothy

Are you having similar experiences? We’d love to hear how positive action is benefiting you! Please let us know by going to Facebook and searching for The 51% Project. If you enjoy the blog, please “like” us on The 51% Project Facebook page and share our page with your friends and family.

If you would like to receive personal notification of new posts, please send your request and email to: dmsa51@51percent.us and we will be happy to oblige. Thank you for your support and encouragement!

It’s The Simple Things in Life That Matter

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything

… they just make the best of everything.

Many of you may have seen the video circulating with the message we’ve posted today, but as it is very appropriate to the intent of The 51% Project, we wanted to bring it to our blog this week. You can find the written text below, but be sure to view the video on our Facebook page – and be sure to pass it on!

Life is Like a Cup of Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Author Unknown

The 51% Project is about finding joy and happiness in our lives, and passing on those gifts to the people we love and the people we meet. The message of the “Cup of Coffee” story is just the kind of thing we enjoy sharing. Won’t you join us this week as we focus on the wonderful parts of our lives, acknowledging whatever positive outcomes have come from even our most challenging situations. Let’s ask ourselves: Do I find joy in the simple things - the coffee, or is joy elusive because of the trappings - the cups - that contain my life? Let’s make a list of what makes us truly joyful and seek them out! Spring is here – the birds and buds are back – let’s stop and smell the coffee!! If you find, like we have, that they are the small things, we encourage you to look at them more closely and make the best of the simple joys in life.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

We wish you a very happy week,

Susan and Dorothy

To find us and the Life is Like a Cup of Coffee video on Facebook, just click this link: www.facebook.com and search for The 51% Project. And, if you enjoy The 51% Project, please click “like”.

If you would like to receive notification of new posts, please send your request and email to: dmsa51@51percent.us and we will be happy to oblige. Thank you for your support and encouragement!

Finding the Best Version of Yourself

In previous weeks we introduced you to some people whose kindness and wisdom have touched us. We hope you are as inspired by their stories as we are and that you, too, have extraordinary teachers in your life.

Today we’d like to introduce you to an extraordinary, beautiful woman whose wisdom reaches far beyond her years and through whom we have learned that sometimes you just have to get out of your head and trust the wisdom of your body and inner self. Please meet our yoga instructor and friend, Jen Sayers.

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‘It is through your body that you realize you are a spark of divinity.’
-B. K. S.

My impression of the 51% project is that of a forum designed to inspire people to get into the drivers seat of their own lives; take charge and make choices to create a better life, a better you, a better me, and a better world. I’m a yoga teacher and student and my practice has given me a few tools and, in turn, a few glimpses of that better self I want to be.

Yoga reminds us again and again that we already have everything we need; we were born with it. That perfect place deep within where all is well and you are your most genuine and authentic version of yourself - that place of Divinity or what you may call your inner knowing, your truth. Over time our experiences, both good and bad, put layers over that place - that authentic self. Little hurts and fears are like sheets of plastic wrap; big ones can be more like bricks or steel. Either way, the ‘real you’ gets buried deeper and deeper until who we really are, or were meant to be, can become unrecognizable, even to ourselves. Every stimulus adds another layer. Yoga, meditation, and other stilling practices can help to peel away the layers, allowing us glimpses of that center, stimulating our desire to get back there; back in touch with our truth. Every moment of presence, breath, yoga practice, joy and love has the power to bring us back so that we can become who we were meant to be, who we really are, who we want to be, and the best version of ourselves.

The most challenging part for many of us is the desire for an instant fix. It’s not going to happen. Even when we do get in touch with our own best self, it’s a daily battle to stay there, constantly returning again and again to center. That’s what my yoga practice helps me do. What helps you see inside?

In yoga we use the word ‘Namaste.” It’s only fitting that I use that word here and now to say:

‘I honor that place with in you of light, love, truth and peace.
When you are in that place in you, I am in that place in me,
we are one.’

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Dorothy: I’ve been doing yoga on and off for many years, but it wasn’t until I moved here to Utah 3 years ago that the practice became a part of me, a daily tonic that has strengthened me in so many ways. Through Jen, and other teachers I’ve met along the way, I am gratefully now more often that best version of myself – certainly 51% of the time!!!! As Jen said, there are no instant fixes. So, with one foot in front of the other, I plod on; encountering teachers and things along the way that help me to keep peeling away the layers. It is sometimes hard and uncomfortable but yoga, this blog, the people and experiences in my life help to remind me that the beauty is in the process not the work. Looking at where I am and back at where I was, the effort is barely a memory - it’s the outcome I celebrate! We all have a best version of ourselves. Whatever path you take to nourish yours, I wish you peace and joy in the process. Namaste

Susan: Dorothy’s comments are also true for me. Finding my physical center and authentic self, with the help of my yoga practice, limbers both my body and mind allowing me to discard negativity and feel graceful as I move through my day. It’s one more very pleasant way for me to have positive awareness. Namaste.


If you would like to receive notification of new posts, please send your request and email to: dmsa51@51percent.us. and we will be happy to oblige. Thank you for your support and encouragement!

When Did We Become Oblivious?

People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just the other day I was struck by how oblivious we have become as we rush through our lives, barely noticing that others could use our assistance. Then I remembered the TV commercial showing a young mom with a toddler in a stroller at a busy intersection in a large city … the baby throws her doll on the sidewalk and a man picks up the toy and returns it to the baby. The mom is grateful and others noticed the kindness and smile, even though they’re hurrying to cross the street. It was a great illustration of noticing others and how the little things we do for them have a positive impact. Helping an aging woman wrestling with a heavy grocery bag has a positive impact on her and takes almost no time at all. It’s easy to hold the entry door for the person behind you, and it says that you acknowledge their presence. It’s simple to pick up sunglasses someone drops unnoticed and give them back. There are many little things each of us can do during the day that make small, but positive differences in others’ lives … and those simple acts of kindness we perform seem to make an even bigger difference in our own lives.

We encourage sharpening our awareness of the simple ways we can all help out every day. Just a happy “good morning!” when you pass someone can start both of your days off with a smile. Little things can bring joy to the day and push us forward on the path to thinking positively 51% of the time.

SUSAN: My work moving forward is to heighten my attention to what is happening around me so I can make some small differences in others' lives.

DOROTHY: I feel strongly that the quality of our lives is greatly affected by how we treat others. So, I’m with Susan; it’s time to fine-tune my “situational awareness” skills. I’m going to make a point of seeing the world around me through a wider lens and offering random acts of kindness whenever I can.

Please visit us on Facebook – just search for The 51% Project. If you are finding our blog useful, let us know by leaving a thumbs up/like. And of course, any comments, suggestions, considerations for future content, are always welcome!


S & D

Laughter and Joy

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.

                                                                                      Charlie Chaplin

                       

Did you happen to see The Laughing Baby video that went “viral” this week? (We’ve added it here for your pleasure!) What a great reminder of how contagious joy can be.  I can’t imagine anyone seeing it and not breaking into, at least, a smile! 

I was struck by the number of “hits” the video received (9,000,000+ as of last count!) and by how quickly it flew around the world.  Clearly it was a much-needed tonic in the midst of the unrest in the world right now.  Watching it (about 12 times!) made me think about whom else might have seen it and how they might have been affected by it.

I hope that The Laughing Baby was viewed by combat troops (ours and theirs) in war torn countries of the world, by people caught up in the uprisings in the Middle-East, by folks living in nursing facilities, or homeless shelters, by hungry children, and by the people in Haiti, Australia and Japan struggling to find their way back to a new normal. And I hope that in the minutes that followed their viewing, people might have reached out to someone with a kind word or a gesture of help or felt hope for themselves for a while.

I hope that those who didn’t have the opportunity to be delighted by The Laughing Baby were delighted by another source of joy that day; that maybe they got a hug they hadn’t expected or found a bit of sun to sit in or watched a butterfly or scratched a dog’s ears or heard their own children laughing.  I hope that maybe they found shelter from the flying bullets or news that a loved one was safe.  I hope that maybe they heard the word remission or their favorite hymn.

I hope The Laughing Baby’s father, who chose to turn the angst of receiving an employment rejection letter into a game of giggles and happiness, is repaid with the best job ever and a future of great success.

I hope that The Laughing Baby (Mica) has a zillion more moments of pure joy in his life, and when he hears the story of how he made the whole world laugh, he’ll say proudly, “Yeah, that was me!”

And I hope that after you watch The Laughing Baby, you, as I did, will also remember how good it feels to be in that tears streaming down your face, gasping for breath, blowing milk out your nose, peeing your pants, rolling on the ground ecstasy and together we can spread it around and cause an epidemic!

Feel Good – Do Good!

ENJOY!

Dorothy:  Well, I don’t know if it’s the latest 18 inches of snow or, the onset of cabin fever or, the….. – but -  whatever IT is – I seem to have hit a wall.  Somehow my resistance to the chaos – the world’s, our state’s, my family’s and MINE - has diminished and I’m finding myself edgy and out of sorts. I know, as Susan discussed last week, that sometimes you just have to crawl in the hole – but as she said, “it feels REALLLLLLLLLY awful, “ and I want OUT!  --- Since starting this project back in January – I really have been on a very nice, even keel.  I’ve been putting in that 51% of effort to make some changes in my life, I’ve been aware of boundaries and cautious of judgment, and although it’s been hard work at times – I’ve been inspired by the outcomes and cheered by my progress.  Then what happened?  LIFE HAPPENED – HUMAN HAPPENED – FAMILY DYNAMICS HAPPENED – EGO HAPPENED!  I have to remember that hard days happen to happy people, too, and that even the most well maintained machinery needs a little tune-up now and again!   So I’ve called in the mechanics: my Thai Masseuse, my walking partner and confidant, my yoga instructor.  I’ve made plans to visit my favorite Barista; will gather my family to share a meal, will play with my paints, and call a friend I’ve been missing.--- I’ve been over a few bumps in the road before and know this well- worn chaises has a lot more happy trails ahead, so for now I’m just going to try to be kind to myself and keep my eye on the horizon!!! Hopefully, it's my next great inspiration! 

Susan: Laughter truly is the best medicine, and I’ve had a wonderful week of intense laughter.  Last Friday my husband and I met with delightful new friends and began the most laughter filled weekend I can remember.   Saturday was a giggle-filled day ending with a superb dining experience in the evening … the company, the wine, and the amazing food elicited smiles from the depths of my sole.   And the skiing this week in many inches of new, soft snow!  We laughed, we teased; we skied until our poor legs couldn’t stand up to any more fun.  Add to that more fun with wonderful friends and more delicious food and drink and, you guessed it, more laughter.  Honestly, we laughed until our sides ached.  It’s a tonic, a scrumptious elixir that makes the endorphins zing.  My wish for you is that you laugh until your sides ache at least one time this week.

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Please visit us on Facebook (just search for The 51% Project!) and give us a THUMBS-UP/”Like” if you find this blog useful. Thank you for your continued support and input. We post a new entry every Saturday - so please don't forget to come back!

D & S

A lovely post script:  While meeting at our "office" - our favorite local coffee house - to review this weeks post, we were again delighted by the spontaneous and infectious laughter of a child.  Sitting with his parents and Grandmother, a young toddler was given an Iphone to play with and discovered an apparently hilarious game.  His unbridled guffaws resounded about the shop and within seconds, everyone was giggling; eyes lifted from computer screens and newspapers, smiles popped up over every latte and joy spilled out everywhere!  Such an unexpected and appreciated gift to all!

Adversity as Motivator

"It's not who you are that holds you back, 

it's who you think you're not"

                                 - author unknown

Many of us here in Park City have the good fortune of receiving the services and friendship of Dr. EJ Raven.  EJ is a skilled chiropractor and wellness advocate who, through both his professional and personal life, continually demonstrates the power of right-action in all he does.  While juggling the responsibilities of a flourishing practice and growing young family (he and his wife Rosie have 5 beautiful children), he somehow manages to make a place in his life for the greater good of humankind.  Whether through his monthly Lunch and Learn program and book club discussion groups that enable this community to expand their understanding of a multitude of important topics like: nutrition, parenting, goal setting, etc., or volunteering his services to the Elders of the Navajo Nation, he is always looking for ways to connect people to opportunities for personal and professional growth.  EJ is a true MENCH - a German word which, in Yiddish, means a particularly good person with the qualities one would hope for in a dear friend or trusted colleague; a gentleman.

EJ is one of those “glass is half full” people.  He sees life through a positive lens and radiates his joy and hope to everyone around him. So, we wanted to gift you with a little EJ this week.  As our second guest blogger, EJ has offered a motivational video for your consideration.  It is moving and funny, heart wrenching and hopeful, it is a story that helps us all to work a little harder to eliminate “I CAN’T” from our vocabulary.

We know you will be inspired by the story of Nick Vujicic.  Please share it, especially with the children in your life. 

“Last month I had the opportunity to listen to Nick as he presented at a conference in Las Vegas.  Nick teaches us that obstacles = opportunities.  Without the obstacles Nick has had and continues to face, he would not have the incredible opportunities he has today. His presentation made me ask myself, “What obstacles do I face today that will become the springboard to tomorrow’s successes?”  Nick teaches us that we have a choice.  When we fall short, do we give up or get up?  Nick teaches us that we each have a purpose in this life. He encourages us to consider whether we are in a relentless, albeit sometimes very slow momentum forward, or have we let our foot off the accelerator of life?

We are all destined for great things in our sphere of influence.  I believe a Someone even greater, even kinder, happier, and more authentic to our purpose, lies within each of us.  And, this greatness within gently, unceasingly, beckons us to try a little harder, be a little kinder, and live a little more in harmony with our peaceful authentic self.  Nick Vujicic shows us that success may just be the reconciliation of who we are on the outside with the greatness we are on the inside.”

Dr. EJ Raven, Park City, UT

For more inspiration we encourage you to check out EJ’s website: www.incredibleDrYou.com and Facebook page at:  Freedom Chiropractic

(Please know it is the intent of this blog to promote people and ideas, not products. The mention of Mr. Vujicic’s DVD in this clip is due to technical difficulties – ours!!  We couldn’t get this video to you without it-sorry)

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Dorothy and Susan:

We know we can, We Know We Can, WE KNOW WE CAN!!!!

email us at:

dmsa51@51percent.us

Choosing Your Destiny

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice.
William Jennings Bryan

During the past week I’ve been reminded repeatedly that there is wonderful inspiration around us all of the time. For instance, the financial adviser going door to door in my neighborhood introducing himself to potential clients so he can build his business. After telling me about his company and about his financial expertise, he asked about my work. I took the opportunity to tell him a little bit about The 51% Project and what we hope to accomplish with the blog. Smiling and happy he told me that he understands, first hand, the power of positivity and looking on the bright side of life. Earlier in his life he lost one of his legs, but in spite of all the grim possibilities that could have befallen him, he chose to stay positive and not give up on his passions. Today he’s a champion Paralympic skier! This handsome, vibrant, and happy young man has the world by the tail because he took control of his destiny and intends to live a successful, joyful, and fulfilling life including pursuing his passionate love of ski racing.

The people we encounter who have such positive impacts on our lives seem to have something in common with each other, they are intentionally living the best life they can. It doesn’t mean that every part of their life is perfect, it just means that there is something they are passionate about and they are intentionally pursuing that passion with joy. It’s what feeds them, what gives them the energy to balance the rest of their life so they can pursue their passion. Just like the unexpected teacher who showed up on my doorstep; Dorothy and I want that for our lives, too.

We’re all teachers and coaches as well as students and apprentices wherever we are in life. You never know when you’ll meet someone who will be inspired by you, or who will be an inspiration to you. So, whether we’re walking alone, or sharing your path with someone who stepped up to lend a hand, each of us has opportunities to choose our destiny and intentionally create our path to fulfilling that destiny everyday.

We invite you to look around and find wonderful people and things that inspire you. Acknowledge that they can be anywhere. Allow for the probability that you are an inspiration to your family, friends, and associates, as well. When someone has said or done something inspiring, don’t be shy; let them know you appreciate it. When you’re open and looking for joy, you’ll be amazed where you’ll find inspiration and you’ll be delighted when you hear that you’ve inspired someone else.

SUSAN: It is my intention to author my life this week by being open to all the beauty surrounding me, especially the pure pleasure of interesting, fun, and inspiring people.

DOROTHY: Last week I had the good fortune of traveling south to the Mojave Desert in Southern California. The brown, wind blown earth was just coming alive as the desert flowers burst open to paint every vista in shades of yellow and purple! To say it was stunning is an understatement! Talk about inspiration – Mother Nature never disappoints! I actually returned home inspired by another, unexpected source, though. While away I met, and spent some time with, a remarkable woman who is grieving the recent loss of a child. Something I, and I suspect you, can’t even fathom. Yet there she was finding time to take a stranger on a hike and genuinely finding joy in sharing her knowledge with me. Clearly she was finding strength in the wonder of her surroundings, the beauty of it all giving her some sense of meaning in an otherwise broken world. She is truly living an intentional life – choosing to put her feet on the ground every morning and to somehow muster up the strength and courage to bump through another day. In spite of the depth of her sorrow and pain, in spite of how easy it would be to just pull the covers over her head; she chooses, with intention, to LIVE fully. She chooses, every day, to honor her child’s life by not giving up on her own. This is Grace. This is inspiration. This makes me wake up in the morning and say – “Oh how insignificant my troubles are.” This week I will author my life by acknowledging the inspiration and kindness of strangers.

Destiny awaits!

Susan and Dorothy