Ahhh, the Memories

Make joyful memories often,

they will sustain you forever.

Susan Amidon

I believe that life is supposed to be an adventure and the past few weeks have been full of adventure, fun, and reminiscing.        

The founders of the company I’ve been associated with for more than 20 years have recently retired and this week was their retirement celebration.  Former employees came from all around the West to celebrate with them.  It has been years since I’ve seen many of the guests and it was so fun to reconnect, look at photos from years past and reminisce about the good times, as well as the awkward times, we shared.  Everyone was happy and eager to be a part the festivities.  So many pieces of our lives have been spent together, it was terrific to reconnect and update each other with our more recent adventures.  

Seeing old friends has made me think about how fortunate I am to have so many remarkable people in my life.  I’m one of the luckiest people I know ... I work with some of the most amazing people, from my knowledgeable and forward thinking clients to the willing and talented team members who make my work success possible.    I have a loving and accomplished family, friends and acquaintances who are inspiring and help me think outside of the box as well as make me laugh and remember that life is best when shared in joy and appreciation of all that we have.  

A couple of weeks ago I told you about my raccoon friend ... I’ve named him Hairy Houdini ... and how he drew me into his nocturnal adventure by inviting himself into my home.  He’s still making regular forays to my yard, enjoying the smorgasbord of treats placed in the trap set especially for him, and then somehow letting himself out of the trap to continue on his merry way.  His fearlessness, determination, and curiosity inspires me and I find myself drawn to the road less traveled to see what inspiration and fun I can find there.   

What I’m finding is kind and helpful people willing to go out of their way to help others, new ideas and opportunities, and some very funny conversations.  Most everyone I meet seems to be in a similar place; trying to redefine their purpose and move to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.   I think this is a needed change of perspective from the decadence of the past decade or so.

Adventure calls and I want to answer ... will you join me?     

Susan

Susan:  This week will include business travel and creative problem solving, I’ll be tapping into my joyful memories for stress relief and smiles. 

Dorothy:  Susan and I will have to duke it out for the title of luckiest person in the world this week! How can I not win - I have Susan in my work and play life!  Her ever positive twist on life is such a great tonic against the frequent grumblings of the greater world.  I'm lucky and grateful to be traveling this part of my road of life with her!  Thank you Suz!

Teach Your Children Well

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

                      - Sir Winston Churchill

While in Montana this summer, I had the always-pleasurable opportunity to visit with my friend, Ben Kestner, educator extraordinaire, and his beautiful wife and daughter.   They were in the states on leave from their current residence in Waterloo, Belgium, where Ben holds the post of Principal of the Middle School at St John’s International School. 

Though Ben and I shared many inspiring and uplifting conversations, the details of the Pay it Forward experience his students participated in was most memorable. So, I asked him to write out the story, and for permission to share it here on the 51% Project blog.

It seems fitting to share Ben’s story with you today, as this weekend our friends Charley Johnson of The Pay it Forward Experience - www.PIFexpereince.org, and James and Alicia Hadlock, of Soul Centers Resort - www.Soulcenters.org, were to host the First Annual Pay it Forward Conference in Heber City, UT. Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond their control, the conference has been postponed. Look for updates on rescheduling here at The 51% Project in the months ahead. In the meantime, please visit the websites linked above and be inspired, uplifted and changed by the stories and words of wisdom they share.

Above all, keep the movement going forward, as Ben and his students are doing.

Susan and I hope you’ll be as moved and motivated as we are by this beautiful lesson in “Right Action.” Wouldn’t it be nice if we all incorporated the principles of Ben’s CARE campaign into our lives – and of course, paid it forward every day!

Paying it Forward in Waterloo, Belgium

250 Middle school student streamed into the theatre at our school last October to watch Mimi Leder’s film, Pay it Forward, staring Kevin Spacy and Helen Hunt.  The film was to act as a stimulus for conversations in their “advisories” across the three grades, 6th, 7th and 8th and was timed to coincide with a new campaign at school – “CARE (Communicate, Assist, Respect, Encourage) at St. John’s.”

Creating, or nurturing, a climate of ‘CARE’ is crucial in schools and is a huge part of the curriculum framework we developed which looks at ‘key competences’ we want our kids to know and master across all subjects and, indeed, through their lives in and out of school. This competency based curriculum approach differs from pure knowledge based curriculum, which ‘prepares’ kids for high stakes testing and trains them to be extraordinary ‘regurgitaters’. In a competency based (skills based) framework, the emphasis is on skills or qualities that we see as vital for their lifelong learning and wellbeing.

The 7 key competences which run through our curriculum are:

     Knower of Self
     Global Connector
     Creator
     Communicator
     Collaborator
     Explorer
     Thinker

An example: say you are a Math teacher. You teach Math right? Wrong. You help students to understand Math through these competences. How much does your kid know about her or himself; how can Math connect to the world and how do other cultures approach math; what can you create using math; how can you communicate through math, how do you collaborate, explore and think?

Now back to the film or movie! The idea of doing something for someone else fits in with exactly what we are trying to achieve through the competencies. It involves caring, sure, but you also need to be able to connect and communicate.

If you seen the movie than you will understand that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house at the end (I won’t give away exact details in case you haven’t seen it – but encourage you to go rent it today!!!) We had a brief feedback session immediately following the viewing and then the kids made their way back to their advisories. The conversations I popped in on were fascinating. There was a real sense of injustice initially about the end of the movie. They didn’t want it to end the way it did, but then came the ideas for action! Grade 6 already had a ‘make a difference’ day in place and decided to use themes from the film to help plan it.

What stood out the most as I made my way around the school in the weeks that followed, was a real sense of well-being, a feeling backed up by some wonderful examples of paying it forward, from the girl who stayed on by herself after a basketball game to tidy up the bleachers without telling anyone, to offers of helping students who seemed to be unhappy or bullied. Doing things for others without reward.

An important aspect of any organization – business, school, family, community -  is a sense of shared values - a common ground amongst all involved.  As more and more people experience the well-being that comes from mutual respect and genuine caring, it creates a tipping point - (51%). The more we can spread the love; the more love will be spread. Give a little love and it all comes back to you.

I’d be happy to share more information about our curriculum or if you are passing through Belgium, pop by our school and I’ll show you around.

Ben Kestner

You will find a link to Ben’s blog in our sidebar or follow him on twitter @kestnertweet.

Masks and Transformation

Life is change.  Growth is optional.  Choose wisely.

-Karen Kaiser Clark

This has been a very busy and stressful week for me.  Last night really tipped the scale when I was met face-to-face with a very substantial raccoon letting himself into my house through the very small cat door.  To say the very least, it was a shocking experience to have him make eye contact with me as if asking me why I was screaming, jumping up and down, and clapping my hands at him.  You would have thought I was the intruder!

After calling to warn my neighbors about our local Houdini, calming my cats down, moving the litter box indoors, and making sure the sliding covers were locked in place over the double cat doors, I was able to calm down and feel secure going to bed.  But, remembering the raccoon’s knowing eyes as he looked at me through his mask got me thinking about the masks I’ve used to help me through different phases and situations in my life.   Masks can be tools for transformation.  A calm and confident mask helps me to keep moving through stressful or fearful situations.  Using a mask of strength has helped me through situations where I felt weak and unqualified for the task at hand.  I think we all use different masks to present a different face to the world so that we can achieve success.  They are a source of protection.

During the past couple of years I’ve made some dramatic changes to the balance of my work and personal life and it’s required me to don some new masks to help me redefine myself and my new purpose.  I semi-retired from the corporate world and set my professional-career-woman mask aside to discover what I could do with my creative aspirations, something I’ve never taken time to develop.  

It’s a challenging transformation to remake a life.  To help with the process I decided to use some new masks.  There’s the mask of creative confidence I use to write and put my “stuff” out into cyber-space, and the mask of social confidence that encourages me to spend more time connecting with my neighbors and using skills I developed in the business world to help my community.

This new phase of life requires being curious in ways that I’ve never been open to before.  The confidence and willingness to explore new and unknown territory shown to me by my furry, masked visitor was an inspiration to me.  I’m going to borrow his mask of fearlessness for a while to see how it helps me grow. 

Susan 

SUSAN:    It’s been a very busy fall for everyone I know.   I’m grateful for the beautiful leaves and sunshine, but also looking forward to the family holiday parties and get togethers with friends and neighbors; and a little time for hibernation, too.  

DOROTHY:  As Susan points out…the critters are moving!  This week we had a family of moose walking down Main Street in town. Last week the geese bid us farewell and turned south.  The birds and squirrels are eating like lions and even the bees, though clearly slowed by the chilled air, seem aBUZZ (oh, so bad!!!) with the change in the air! Fall beckons me to slow down, to draw inward, to tuck in loose ends, to pour a cup of tea and take stock of what I’ve “laid-in” over the past months. My heart and soul are so full of wonderful travel memories, exciting new experiences, and loving gestures by family and friends. I am sated. LET IT SNOW!

Lessons from Geese

"The autumn hill gathers the remaining light,
A flying bird chases after its companion.
The green color is bright
And brings me into the moment,
like a sunset mist that has no fixed place."
                            Wang Wei

The first Winter Storm Advisory went up yesterday here on the Wasatch Back. Snow is expected by week’s end and messages about snow tires and boots fill my mailbox. The shift feels both melancholy and exhilarating!  I’m sad that the glorious autumn we’ve enjoyed is waning but grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to soak it up: the epic hikes, soul-filling vistas, and dinners on the deck in OCTOBER – these memories will help to warm my heart in the months ahead. Soon, I’ll be storing my walking stick and pulling out the snowshoes to enjoy new adventures in the pristine drifts in the meadows near my home.  To everything there is a season…..

Yesterday I decided to head into the yard to get some of the leaves raked off the lawn before the flakes fly.  Even though the blustery wind had turned my plan into a rather futile exercise, it was warm and sunny, the dog was providing great entertainment chasing leaves and bees and grasshoppers, so I lingered. I’m so glad I did, for otherwise I would have missed the, possibly, last flock of geese passing by; a sight and sound that always moves me! 

The scene made me think of a seminar I attended sometime ago, and I’d like to share the “take away” (still with me after many years) with you:

Lessons from Geese

1.    As each goose flaps its wings, it creates uplift for others behind it. There is 71 percent more flying range in V-formation that in flying alone.

~Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of purpose can get there more quickly.

2.    Whenever a goose flies out of formation, it feels drag and tries to get back into position.

               ~Lesson: It's harder to do something alone than together.

3.    When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies at the head.

~Lesson: Shared leadership and interdependence give us each a chance to lead as well as an opportunity to rest.

4.    The geese flying in the rear of the formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

  ~Lesson: Encouragement is motivating. We need to make sure our "honking" is encouraging - and not discouraging.

5.    When a goose gets sick or wounded and falls, two geese fall out and stay with it until it revives or dies. Then they catch up or join another flock.

 ~Lesson: We should stand by our colleagues in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

 

Nothing puts me in the moment, and in the reality of my place and connectedness to the greater world, better than a little nudge from nature.  We are all part of a bigger picture. Whether in our family circles, our workplace teams, our community’s development, or our world’s betterment, our individual choice and commitment to do the right thing strengthens the greater good for all.

Fly with the greatness of others, do your part today, and every day!

Wishing you joy in all seasons,

Dorothy

(In attempting to properly acknowledge the author of the above, I found Lessons from Geese attributed to a number of different people:  Dr. Robert McNeish, Milton Olson, Angeles Arrien and Ryugen Fisher.  I thank them all for their contribution)

Dorothy - I ended this chilly week wrapped in a blanket of comfort and joy provided, with love, from some very special members of my "flock".  Thank you Mother Geese!

Susan - The days have cooled, it’s time to begin nesting and preparing for some regeneration time.  This year, my regeneration includes reconnecting with the past.  I’m relishing the warmth and support found in both young and old friendships.  

 

Living a Gracious and Joyful Life

She was one of those happily created beings who please without effort, 

make friends everywhere, and take life so gracefully and easily

that less fortunate souls are tempted to believe 

that such are born under a lucky star.

-Louisa May Alcott

With luck, most of us have the wonderful experience of knowing someone who seems to have life all figured out.  This person speaks their mind honestly and without malice, looks at each situation without threat or fear, and finds joy in every day.  Such is a happy person.

Happy people seem to effortlessly create more happiness, and even when life throws them a curve ball they catch it gracefully and know precisely the right thing to do next.  They are easy about life and don’t get caught up in a harried and frantic world.  They enjoy themselves in each situation, they love that others’ dreams are fulfilled, and they look for the best in everyone and every situation.   I believe that they know what is truly important in life and understand where they find the most joy.  And finding that joy is their ultimate goal. 

There are many old adages like “birds of a feather flock together” and “be careful what you wish for, you might get it”.  I try to take those sayings to heart and place myself, as often as absolutely possible, in the company of those remarkable souls who are fun, interesting, excited about life, and adventuresome.  Their happiness inspires me to make choices that lead to more interesting experiences.  To keep myself moving toward my dream of an interesting and fun-filled life, I’ve created a master dream list and I add every fun and interesting experience I can think of to that list.  I keep it on my computer, because that’s easiest for me, and I can easily add to it as I get more ideas.   It’s fun to create the list, and it’s even more fun to check off my accomplishments.   Of course, that means there’s lots more room for new dreams and experiences!

I’ve found that you really do get what you wish for, so why not wish for wonderful friendships, a happy and close family, the love and support of someone special, and exciting experiences that enrich life? 

As I continue to shed some of the old habits of my life I’ve found my life is easier, less stressful, and so much more satisfying.  It isn’t always easy or comfortable to follow through on my choice to spend my time with people who live gracefully and easily, but it’s always well worth the effort.  I feel like I’ve finally aligned myself with my heart.  I feel easier about my life and more able to express my thoughts and feelings with less stress and discomfort.   I look forward to the continuing experience of life.

Have a wonderful week!

Susan

SUSAN:  This year has been an amazing growth experience for me.  I’m very grateful for the people I’ve met, long time friends who continue to touch my heart, and those from whom I’ve learned so much.

DOROTHY:  To my good fortune, my life is full of chronically happy people – they are a joy and inspiration, and a great insulator from the dream snatchers and nay-slayers who sometimes cross my path.  I choose not to spend much time with the latter, as the negative affect they have on me is so uncomfortable it becomes a palpable physical, as well as, emotional distress I am no longer able to tolerate.  As in tending a garden – so it is in life as well, every so often you have to pull out that which is detrimental to the beauty and health of the whole.