Don't Stop Believing

Don’t stop believing, hold on to that feeling.

Journey (The Rock Band)

Many times in my life I’ve succumbed to a dearth of pleasure and joy and let fear have the upper hand in determining my moods and my days.  The illness and death of a parent, sibling, or close friend; miscarriage, the break down and destruction of a marriage, or worry over finances are very stressful and painful, and overwhelm the joy of life.  At one time or another, all of these have had negative and depressing effects in my life. I have always tried to learn from difficulty and pain and then move forward.  But, moving forward doesn’t seem to happen quickly, and I have often thought that regaining my equilibrium might never occur.

 However, believing opportunity is all around and that something positive will come from pain has always been a powerful reason for me to look for the bright side.  It’s a start to escaping the negative cycle of loss and an opportunity to move in the opposite direction ... the abundance of hope, belief, joy, love, and opportunity. 

The catharsis happens for me by writing rather than verbalizing my pains and fears.  And it gives me opportunity to look at what I’ve written from different view points since I can review my musings another day, or even months later, with a different set of emotions and circumstances coloring my views. Often I’m startled by what I’ve written and find that I’ve changed my perspective completely. That makes me feel I’ve gained insight from the experience, therefore, something good has come from sorrow.

Determination and a deep belief that change is a good thing have helped carry me through my life to this point. I can usually find the silver lining in a problem; it may be tarnished, but still it’s a spark of something brighter.  Once I find that small speck of possibility, it becomes a carrot dangling in front of me that I can choose to reach for (or not) and find solutions to shine light on the darkness.  It’s not always easy to move to the positive side, but I have found time and again that something magic will happen in my life if I keep believing.

Susan

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Children are a wonderful gift. 

They have an extraordinary capacity 

to see into the heart of things 

and to expose sham and humbug for what they are.

-       Bishop Desmond Tutu

Years ago, renown author and lecturer, Leo Buscalia was asked to judge a contest, the purpose of which was to find the most caring child.  

The winner was a 4-year-old child whose next-door neighbor, an elderly man, had recently lost his wife of many years.  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went to him, climbed up on his lap and sat there quietly.  When his mother asked him what he had said to the man, the boy said, “Nothing, I just wanted to help him cry.” A love so pure and unencumbered by societal influence or ego!

After stumbling upon this story again this week, I set out to see what other children had to say about love.  I share what I found with you, with hopes that it will bring a smile and a bit of sweet perspective:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”  Rebecca- age 8

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri – age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss” Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”  Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” Nikka – age 6  (We need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”  Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”  Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”  Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”  Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”  Lauren – age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”

Mark – age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”  Jessica – age 8

I’ve been so moved by these sweet words of wisdom, I just can’t stop thinking about them. I hope they’ve touched you, too!  Let’s all try heeding the simple lessons of these beautiful children.  This week let’s all share our French fries, make friends with someone we hate, shoot little stars, stop (opening presents, watching TV, sending texts, rushing) and listen, and if we mean it - say it a lot!

Namaste,

Dorothy