You cannot shake hands with a clenched
fist.
Indira Gandi
Try as I may to distance
myself from the influences of the media, politics, and general discord the
world is currently experiencing, staying out of the fray has become a full-time
and, sometimes, exhausting effort. I fear it’s taking its toll on me. There is definitely a disturbance in
the force, and I’m feeling a little “off.”
It occurred to me recently
that my conversations with others who do not necessarily share my views/values
have been less conscious and more defensive and pejorative than is my usual
way. Born from my own fears and
sense of uncertainty, I realize I’ve been taking on the role of converter or
judge, and in so doing, have diluted and distorted my authenticity, as well as
the truths I hold dear.
I do not like this
disagreeable me. So, I am working
hard to renew my hope that though I cannot end the wars, stop the hunger, or
the MADNESS that seems to have all of humanity off balance right now, I can, by
being an honorable, compassionate citizen of the world, soften the hard edges a
bit. I believe this matters, so am committed to doing the work.
It is time for me to drop
the rocks of fear, judgment, resentment and uncertainty I seem to be clenching
so tightly right now. It is time
for us all to put down the guns, the labels, the inequity of supremacy and
entitlement and offer, instead an outstretched hand of trust, understanding and
acceptance. I have come to
understand that an outstretched hand does not require that we give up our
values or beliefs; it simply enables us to look beyond the conflict to the
common ground of our humanity, and reminds us that we can disagree without
being disagreeable.
The other day I found myself
in a conversation that had the potential of escalating into a true
brouhaha. As the “THEM vs US”
lines began being drawn, I forced myself to look directly into the eyes of the
person I was speaking with, whose attitude was becoming quite defensive, and
began mentally ticking off the things about him I knew we had in common: Like me, he loves his family, has bills
to pay, cares about the environment, votes, volunteers and kisses his dog on
the lips. I couldn’t help but giggle. And, when I told him of the dog-kissing
image I was holding in my mind, he giggled, too, then reached out his hand and
said, “Let’s put this to rest and go find some dogs to kiss!”
Scott Russell Sanders, who’s
essays have been said to “cleanse the door of perception”, offers a thoughtful
perspective when he asks in Hunting for Hope, “If compassion won't reach across the dinner table, how can it reach across the
globe?”
Peace will come out of
celebrating our commonalities, not in emphasizing our differences.
It starts with me. It starts
with you.
Dorothy
