The grass is lush and green, the trees are in leaf, and the tough and sturdy spring bulbs have bloomed. This is a perfect time to do some space and clutter clearing to lighten up and begin fresh. Clearing closets and drawers makes us feel lighter, and so it is with clearing your mind. It’s easy to collect unnecessary and unwanted thoughts that keep our minds muddled and burdened.
Many of us are good at collecting “monkeys”, or other people’s issues and concerns, pretending we can take control of them and even fix them. These monkeys are burdens.
Do you have a monkey on your back? Does that monkey belong to you, or have you, possibly without meaning to, taken it on from someone else? In 1999, The Harvard Business Review wrote about managerial efficiencies and how many managers take the monkeys from their staff and become bogged down and ineffective. I believe the concept is equally valid in our personal lives.
Like a computer, having our minds constantly ruminating on problems devours memory and leaves us feeling exhausted. And, it’s negative and unproductive. When we feel overwhelmed, we don’t approach our lives from a joyful perspective.
We’ve talked before about the importance of setting boundaries in our lives and understanding what is ours and what belongs to another. In accepting responsibility for our actions and views, we will find freedom to be our best selves. Being our best selves allows us to joyfully care for ourselves as well as others. Our best selves allow us to look at challenges in our lives in the best light. Our best selves give us permission to allow others to carry their own monkeys and us to encourage them, give strength and support without taking their challenges on as our own. This is setting boundaries in a solid and helpful way. Accept permission to not give yourself away when you give your kindness and support to friends and family. Living simply and honestly leaves room for joyful perspective and changing the outlook we have on the world (at least 51% of the time).
It’s a beautiful spring and we encourage you to take time for yourself. Meditate or contemplate what challenges around you are yours to work on and which ones you can give back to those who own them. It’s a perfect time to spring clean yourself and discard what is unwanted, unneeded, and that which isn’t yours.
SUSAN: I’ve taken the opportunity of time away from my usual surroundings to discard some of the monkeys I’d taken on for others. It has been freeing, to say the least! I’ve learned that I’m more resilient than I knew and that the resilience has increased since I’ve given myself permission not to accept responsibility for the actions and behaviors of others. Whew, who knew!
DOROTHY: I find myself in stunned, yet joyful celebration today because in contemplating what challenge of the week I wanted to share this morning, I realized, that besides the weather; which was, INDEED, a challenge for the whole country, I got NOTHIN’! WHAT, me, without a problem??? Who took my life away???? How could it be that I simply ignored the negative dialogue from the woman in front of me in the grocery line? How could it be that I endured 1.5 hrs in my cold garage listening to my wonderful, yet VERY political, handyman’s barrage decrying “my” party's failures, with no more than “hmmmm, and “interesting” from these lips? How can it be that in this rainy, stay inside week, my spouse got to watch TV for ENDLESS hours without the usual “How can you - mind numbing - time sucking – useless blahh, blahh blahh….,” lecture from me? YES, me! Thinking before I spoke, owning my own stuff, letting others own their own stuff, not feeling the need to insert myself into anyone else’s life!!! I’m with you Susan, WHO KNEW????
We wish you a successful and wonderful week!
Susan and Dorothy
If you find our blog interesting, please “like” us on The 51% Project Facebook page. Thank you for your kind words and support! We love hearing from you.
This post is perfect! Definitely spoke to me today as we are upon our 11th move in 14 years and courageously battling our CLUTTER to try not to carry more than we need to on to our next duty station. I always have to keep myself from holding on tightly to the pieces of miff muffered muff that I pack away every two yeras because it "means so much" yet I see it only once every 2 years so clearly it doesn't mean so very much. But as I stroll through the piles and piles of STUFF that lays waste to my free time I also get to consider why do I feel tied to this stuff and is it adding to my life or detracting from it. My husband is right now going through the garage and finding many items that we forgot we even had and which we can use in the future and he is also finding lots of garbage too that it is time to let go of for the future....and we'll be better for it. My day is mirroring the point Dorothy and Susan made in reference to hang on to your stuff and let other people's stuff go...it seems it is the only way to find the really good things inside of you that you can use in the future while tossing all the garbage that no doubt stagnates and smells up the place.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to share your feelings about our blog Steph. It certainly is timely for the Snode family and I was touched by how you turned our thoughts into your actions. Your thoughts on the whole matter were poignant and... meaningful. Don't be surprised if (with your permission of course) you see a few quotation marks around your words in an upcoming blog!!!! You mean the world to me - and that our blog means something to you gives me such sweet satisfaction. Thank you!!!! D & S
ReplyDeleteThank you D & S for a beautiful and timely post. Your words went straight to my heart as this is a time of realizing that I took on someone else's stuff and that was weighting me down. Your post reminds me of the incredible value in setting healthy boundaries. That monkey is off my back and I'm walking lighter now.
ReplyDeleteMuch love and gratitude!
Stefanie