Week 1 (50 to go!)

If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.
Wayne Dyer

Many of you have asked,  “Why 51%?  I put forth 100% or 110% or 120% of effort all the time?”  Our response is, “To whom?”  Your work, your play, your friends, family?”  These are all good recipients of that 120%, but what about to you?  Do you put 100% of effort toward caring for yourself, toward making adjustments in the way you personally live, to the nurturing of your wounds, to the outcomes you want to experience in your daily existence?  We’ve asked ourselves the same question and the answer is – no.  Like many, our own “stuff” is often at the bottom of our to do list and by the time we get to US, we’re just too darn tired to do the work. And, like many, though we know this is counter-productive – we’ve heard it, read it for years from a myriad of our favorite authors and teachers:  Love thyself, To thine own self be true, You cannot care for others if you don’t care for yourself - we forget.

The 51% Project aims to help us, and maybe you, remember.  So, we’re going PUBLIC (gulp) with our “stuff”, enlisting the theory that putting forth the extra 1% will create the Tipping Point, the push over the edge that will turn our intention into the positive actions and outcomes we seek.

If you’ve read Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, this idea won’t be new to you.  Gladwell, a prominent social scientist, contends that it’s the moment where the extra 1% of something – effort, action, thinking, FLU - becomes an epidemic, causing a state of critical mass that moves a “thing” from status quos to rapid forward movement.  A contagion becomes an “outbreak”, an idea becomes a movement, and power is put in the hands of the many – not the few.  Think about a corporation – when the principals acquire 51% of the shares, they own the power to control the outcomes, the profits, and the values this company represents.  We contend that the same is true in making changes – personal and global.  If we do something 51% of the time, that something takes on the power to affect the way we are, the way we live and the way we engage with others.

We have both chosen personal issues we want to change. (We’ll get to some of those global issues later!)  We have committed to exercising the 51% theory in bringing forth those changes and will share our journey here on these pages.  Along the way we will share the bits of inspiration that we find helpful - quotes that move us, videos and music that become our touchstones, as well as the setbacks we experience.  Many of these will not be new to you, but it is our hope that somehow seeing how they work for us, will make them clearer – maybe even bringing on a few ah-ha moments for some of you. We encourage your comments, suggestions and the sharing of some of your experiences too.

In our discussions with others about this project we have discovered some reoccurring themes – places where we all seem to get stuck, ego-isms that undermine success like: blurring boundaries, negative thinking, confusing right action with power, losing sight of the goal, and more.  We will try to bring some new ways of thinking about these deterrents by sharing our own truths about them and also the wisdom of those authors and teachers we spoke of earlier. 

So, here we go!  The first theme of our challenges is BOUNDARIES – an “ego-ism” that often catches us up and gets us stuck.  The task here is to recognize where you END and others BEGIN.  Boundaries protect our self-worth and respect the worth of others. Everyone has their own ways of thinking, acting, and being based on their personal life experiences and lessons, their personal values and needs. Neither are the RIGHT way or the WRONG way but just A way.  Finding a middle ground based on respect and acceptance is the goal.

DOROTHY:  One of my biggest challenges to living a fully happy life is accepting that others’ definition of efficiency is different from mine.  This is actually a great example of the power of the 51% theory, because I have tumbled over the tipping point here but not in a positive way.  My automatic response to these moments of impatience is what my family refers to as THE BREATH, which translates to:  WHY CAN’T YOU DO IT MY WAY!  How easy life would be if my spouse, children, other drivers, fellow shoppers would just “get it.”  So, I am going to work at tipping the scale the other way by asking myself– is this my business or their business, by turning THE BREATH into simply breathing, by remembering the goal of respect and acceptance – mine and theirs - and by not needing to be the ONLY way.

SUSAN:  Feeling comfortable expressing my boundaries and expectations is my challenge.  I admire those who simply and easily state what they need from others.   It seems like such a simple thing to do, but my self-programming often makes it a challenge to be completely open about my expectations.   I don’t want to offend another or hurt anyone else’s feelings and in taking that concern to the extreme I often find that I’m allowing my needs, expectations, and concerns to be put on the back burner or ignored all together.  That’s not fair to anyone as it’s confusing to those I interact with when I do get specific about what I expect.  To find the tipping point of mutual respect and acceptance, I’m working at being completely authentic in my conversations.

We encourage your comments and suggestions regarding our challenges, but also ask that you share yours.  How is the 51% theory playing out for you?  Remember, this is a PROJECT – ours AND yours, we need your input.  If you think someone you know would find value in participating or just following along  - please pass our blog link forward.  Thanks!