It’s not what happens to you,
But how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus
Greek Philosopher

The 51% Project began as a sincere desire to invite positive action and optimistic thought into ourselves, our families, our workplaces … in general our lives.  And the best way to begin is to pay attention to how we respond to everyday events in our lives.  To consciously think about how we talk with others, how we talk with ourselves, how we respond to events around us and to the people we encounter every day  will make us better able to recognize when we are less than kind or just plain negative.  Recognition is the key to making a change.

In talking with a friend about The 51% Project the other day, I was reminded how important it is to also consider our perspective about things that happen to us.  Can we look at situations from another perspective and get an entirely different view?    My friend recounted her recent experience of having the opportunity to start her own business.  Everything about getting her business started was fortuitous.  The company she worked for decided to outsource their sales representation and the salespeople were told that if they could start their own companies they could continue to represent the company as well as take on other manufacturers and build a business of their own.  My friend eagerly said “yes!” to the opportunity and began getting everything in order.  She put out the word that she was available to represent other manufacturers and happily said “yes!” as other manufacturing firms signed her to be their representative.   Her new business was growing quickly and successfully and she began to be overwhelmed with the volume of work before her and began second guessing her ability to do a good job.  She told a close friend that she was wondering,  “What have I done? What if I can’t do all of this?” Her friend reminded her that she was looking at it in a negative light … in reality, he said, you’re having fortune rain down on you.  Enjoy it!

Just changing our perspective can change everything … for the better!

We would like to invite you to look at a challenging situation in your life, maybe even talk it over with the most positive person you know, and see if you can gain a positive perspective to see if it changes your view.

Last week Dorothy and I told you about boundary challenges we were working on that were keeping us from enjoying more fullness and joy in our lives and we’d like to give you some updates on our progress.

SUSAN:  I’ve been working to express my boundaries by being completely authentic in my conversations and it’s been very freeing and opened doors to conversation that I hadn’t expected.   There haven’t been daily instances where I’ve needed to set and acknowledge my boundaries, but thinking about the process has had a very positive impact on me overall.  I’m finding that conversations about issues or concerns begin easily and conclude with positive results.   Getting clear about my feelings on the particular subject is the key … once I’m clear about what feels good; moving forward is natural and easy.  Of course, this is a work in progress so I’ll continue to be more consciously authentic.  I’m going to be paying attention to my perspective as well!

DOROTHY: What an interesting week it’s been!!!  In my attempt to meet the challenge of restructuring and understanding boundaries, as they relate to my own and the others I interact with, I discovered much about myself and the process of change.  Most illuminating was how often my “stuff” bleeds across the edges and how often I poke myself into other people’s space.  These are not always negative bleeds or pokes – often they’re simply the byproduct of curiosity or interest, but definitely trespassing has occurred! AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION.  Also interesting was the realization of  how powerful intention, language, judgment and observation is in creating change, or for that matter, keeping the status quos.  It was not enough to think, “I’ll just stop doing that,” because when THAT plays out – other factors arise.  Here’s how it played for me this week:  I’m a stickler for punctuality; others in my family – not so much.  I was finding it aggravating not only when they were late for something that included me (my side of the boundary and something I deserve to protect) but also when they were slow or late for things that DIDN’T include me (their side of the “fence” and NOT MY BUSINESS.)   In the first instance - MY business – it wasn’t enough to own it as MY business and not confuse it with being their business (usually via the luxury of victim thinking: Why are they doing this to me???)  I also had to adjust my intention: from getting them to do what I wanted – to feeling okay that what I wanted was important, and then I had to adjust my language from:  “Are you going to make us late again?” to “It’s important to me that we’re on time for this event,” PERIOD. Then I had to move from judgment  – I’m married to the slowest man on the planet to observation  - how interesting, we can both end up in the same place even if we go a different way.  Now, I can’t say that every minute of interpersonal exchange this week was interesting or illuminating or that the days exploded in A-HA moments, but by the end of the week I find that I AM making the adjustments above more than 51% of the time, and that it’s becoming less effort and more “second-nature” and I can truly see, feel, and ENJOY the difference.  There’s more work to do of course, but I am inspired to do it and share it here with you.

We encourage your comments and suggestions regarding our challenges.  Thanks so much for sharing with us; we know that it’s scary.  How is the 51% theory playing out for you?  Remember, this is a PROJECT – ours AND yours, we need your input.  If you think someone you know would find value in participating or just following along  - please pass our blog link forward.  Thanks!

Susan and Dorothy